Why does life have to be so hard?????

Haven't wrote in a couple days.... Just been so slammed! Yesterday was a good day as long as I wasn't home... I just wish I could stay at church all the time, I am so happy there. Then I get home which just instantly changes my upbeat attitude the second I walk in the door... I just can't wait till this situation changes!!!! But my word for this year is perseverance!!! And as hard as that is I know I can do it. I am a strong woman and I know that I have God on my side! I know this probably how alot of people feel but being a christian (actually trying to live a Godly life) and not just going through the motions is so much harder then liveing of the world. Why????? Why can't it be easier???? I know we all have our seasons but come on when is mine going to end???? Sorry I know all the answers to these questions but yet I can't help but think them. I just feel so exhausted and honestly sometimes feel like what is the point of all this, and how easy it would be to go back to the old me... but then I think how awful that was too... LIFE IS SO HARD AND CONFUSEING!!!!! I am probably makiing no sense today... my mind is going and going. I just want to have peace and not the noise kind of peace the peace within.... I feel like a failure and the more I try to fix things the more I fail... I pray and tell God I am giveing him these things but I don't think I really actually let them go..... It's hard!!! Gotta go kids are fighting (again)