Didn't get to write yesterday it was just a emotionaly draining day. I have had alot of those lately.... But at the same time yesterday was a learning experience! I love my church family and I know they have offfered to help so much but I guess have let my pride and embarrassment get in the way of excepting that help. But at church yesterday during choir practice I had to... in tears I just felt like such a fauilure and tired of fighting with Hunter I just didn't have it in me. But haveing some very loveing people standing behind me telling me it's ok was what I needed. Michelle is one of the biggest inspirations in my life everyday if she can do it I can to!!!
Also hearing Pastor tell me that Hunter reminds her of her boys made me feel better, I feel so lonely sometimes... and people think I am crazy how could I be lonely with 3 kids...oh it's so easy I think at times that makes me even lonlier if that makes sense. Pastor had us pick a word for this year and mine is perseverance. Cause I know through God I can do this, I know it's not going to be easy but I CAN DO IT! And haveing the support that I have makes such a difference. I love being a part of as much as I can at church (even though it's hard cause my kids all have to go wherever I go) it just surrounds me with the things I need in my life! I thank my church family and my Pastors I love them all so much! Someone said to me yesterday that God has something big planned for my life cause satan is determined to bring me down. and I do believe that but guess what HE ISN"T GONNA GET ME!!!! I am going to get back to writeing everyday!!!
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My pride also got the best of me- then I realized when I asked for help -life was so much simpler- even if the help was just someone there to listen to me vent. do journaling- it helps
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling of feeling lonely- even with a child- to me that makes sense- you can do this persevere Tina- you have come so far-I know it takes a toll on you- call someone- ask them to watch the kids or kid ( 1, 2, or 3 ) of them to take time for you- I have realized just recently how beneficial this is. You need it as well as they need it- you are not a failure - I can tell you that cause I have felt the same way at times-Bernie always tells me if it does not kill you it will make you stonnger -- so just remember how strong you will be. :) take each day at a time- that is how I strive to operate- not alwayas successful but strive too- hold on -God will give you strength and wisdom for all things